Tuesday, 12 September 2017

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT DATE UNTIL YOU ARE 18


Okay, I was given this topic to be discussed about. When I was in secondary school, there was a boy who bravely told me, that he wanted to start a relationship with me. I was confidently told him. Oh, sorry, I do not want to be in that phase until I turn 23 or 24. That was the silly 14 years old me. Because I was proud of being single among all those couples - but, I actually enjoying that phase before I even turned 23. Booo. 

Honestly, I have no hurdles in asking you to date. You can date in which age you wanted. Age is just a number, thru pain, thru problems, you started building yourself for good. You discover something by a relationship, be it with your special boyfriends, or friends. You will learn everything. 

Sure, I know you clicked this post for a reason. Maybe you are whole-heartedly, head over heels or whatever feelings or conditions you are having now, or probably you regretted all the relationships you had before your 18th birthday, or just wanted to read this and pass this post to your younger girls /boys or simply click the link because today I posted about this topic. Well, whatever team you are on, I am here to cast the your doubts or even to confirm, why you should not date, or should date before 18. 

As requested, here are several points on why you should not date before you reach adulthood. 

1) YOU ARE STILL YOUNG

Before 18 is the phase where we expressing out our rebellious side. Telling your friends that your mom did not understand yourself, too strict too even let you go out with your guy friends. Because they think you are young. When I was in your age (below 18), I thought I was grown up, but now looking at my niblings, who just turned 18 or 19, I still think they are kids. But in the eyes of the adult, YOU ARE STILL YOUNG. I also understand kids these days are admittedly mature than kids of generation Y- more mature. As the society and cultural evolve, the exposure to the real world is growing more rapidly. Especially when you had the media to show you everything. Where the unimagined things are there on the cloud - just head your mouse to the website, you will get to it. The media will teach you how to self-destruct yourself, because the tv shows or movies or kdrama teach you to do that. Youngster would not like to watch a motivational tv shows in which it helps them to do self-development, hence, the important thing is their peers. Those are good friends will help them to refrain themselve from doing something bad. Or even the bad friends will never want to see at their friends who destruct himself/herself - simply because, who wants to see their friends drowned? 


2) CIRCLE DEVELOPMENT

In this phase, you should build your connections and find the truest circle of your life. Have you ever heard adults told you that, the older they get, the less friends they had? Because during their youngster days, they were friends with so many people, and the circles get smaller once they get older, because they knew, this friends will be the one who are willingly to give a helping hands. Thus, in this age, instead of paying your utmost attentions to your partner, why don't you go and enjoy yourself to build a circle?. Have you seen  a scenario when you single friends are enjoying themselves to do things while having a leisure time but you are there, sitting in the room, contemplating either to join your friends during weekends or simply go on a date with your partner. Your friends will meet a new people but you? Stuck with only one person, whom you do not know, either will stay or vanish from you.

2) YOU ARE UNSTABLE

Yes, because you are unstable - emotionally, financially, etc etc. Because you are uninitiated, you do not know how to handle a situation with knowledge to lead you which one is bad or good. Emotionally unstable can lead you to do something bad for yourself. Have you ever heard young girl cut herself because of the heartbreak? Simply because she can not handle the pain and nigga what? When you had an impish boyfriend who would not think about the future but to enjoy the world without realising the aftermath of his action and suddenly the girl got preggie, and you are not even turn 18th? I was talking about the scenario in the Asian country, Malaysia specifically. How would you face your family and your society? People will badmouth you and the worst, your family. If your partner is financially stable, then you are good (at least), propose to marry you. But, if both of you don't? Then, you cant decipher the right from the wrong and just wait 9 months later and you had a baby.  How would you face the future? Have you heard about people abandoning their babies, throwing them into the toilets and all? Of course you heard of the issues. Growing up is learning to deal with these unstable emotions that we have about ourselves. Growing up does not mean getting your first kiss, having your boyfriend or even driving your first car. It is deciding the idenitity we want to have amongst our peers, where you want to go in the path of your life and how you are going to get there. Because you want to have a stable life - emotionally, financially, etc etc. 


4) LOVE YOURSELF

I know its the media and how they potray being in a relationship as something thats something compulsory or else you are lame and forever alone. Guys, come on, you are just single at the moment and nothing wrong with that, theres so much right things with that. Singledom is something to be proud of and enjoy, hence you should celebrate it not to be embarrassed or mourn about. Chances are, being teenargers of such a tender age, you still have to struggle with a lot of adolescent feelings (low self esteem, confusion of what is right and what is not) and it just happened. You should know how to develop and self-love. Be obsessed with your self (LOL- I LIKE THIS PART). Because self love takes a lot of courage and time to accomplish. Without loving yourself, how do you expect your heart to have enough strength to muster love for another? You will know how to deal with the negatives thing when you loved yourself, cause you will bring the positive characteristics that embody yourself. How do you love others when you are always nitpicking at yourself?

4) THE AFTERMATH AFTER THE AFTERMATH

Being in a relationships will take up a great amount of time and effort. When two people decide to be together, they are actually agree to the boundaries to be made. You are not allowed to hang out one-on-one with people of the opposite sex. Not allowed to mingle with some people, even if you really really want to. You have to choose between your friends and your partner on the weekends. End up you stay at home simply because you do not know which decision to be chose, and there you were suddenly found out how your boyfriend chatted up another girl in another school or some girl that he met during tuition class, and you cried. Being in love, really in love with your partner at a very young age could be jeopardizing because love intensifies stupidity.  Your partner also can ruin your ambitions or hobbies simply because you care with his feelings and suddenly they leave you jaded?


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I know I do not provide you with a strong judgement, simply because I am not a strong believer on the issue you should not date until you turns adult. Life is for you to enjoy. Whatever happened to you, it is a lesson to learn. When you are really damaged, you know how to absorb a lesson. You started teaching yourself how to love someone. You will come with a new embodiment of your perception, and you wont bleed too much in sanguinary. Because you have experienced everything. As long as it is within and following your religion, why bother not to do everything? The reason why I am positive with this matter is because you know how to hold someone trust. When you parents trusted you, you will never break that trust. They trusted you to take care of yourself, you wont break it. In whatever you are doing, you should remember your parents and their advices. Have you heard the unquote saying they told you? I was young and stupid. That means, they do not want you to repeat on the mistakes they did. JUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. If you think you know how to handle yourself, how to give your flying kick to those niggard on their bad actions, then its okay to be in a relationship. The keys are, just remember your Creator and your parents. Then, you will be good in every things you are doing. If you are in a relationship, and your boyfriend wants to upgrade your love to another level and stealing your crown, you should remember THE KEYS (PARENTS AND THE GOD).






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