Thursday, 23 February 2017

That bad grunge.

I am a very impatient person. Veryy. You know, there was a period when I tried to fake myself to be a patient person, some happened, some not. I inherited this from dad. (Well, today is his birthday, the 60th). I really can't help myself, and there were some times did I managed well, but most of the time no. Especially for Aily.

Being an impulsive person somehow really made me regret the people whom I wronged. I remember, previously, when I was 16 (I guess, I forgot), there were two helpers at our home that help mom and us with our chores. So, they will go to my home everyday and leave by 5 pm, basically, it was following the office hours. 

So, being a student who lived in a boarding school, a weekend was a must for them to stay out and went home. I was one of them too. So, basically I will bring some of the clothes that need to be laundered to home, and the helpers did that. Yes, Sunday was the saddest day in my life as I need to return back to school. So, packing my stuff was not a good stuff to do for me. Some of the laundered clothes went 'missing' in which it should be settled and done. Because they laundered that on Friday, and by Saturday it should dried and folded. What happened on Sunday was, that the clothes were asking for us to find it. 

So, I was scared of getting late to school as I need to do the prep for the night, so, I lost my patience. I told them, that I want that clothes now! So, they were searching the whole house, room to room, closet to closet. But to no avail. Honestly, I don't remember either they managed to find that or no. But, the thing I remembered was, I did not bring that to school. So, I leave them without saying sorry. On my way to school, I regretted what I did. However, not even dare to ask mom to at least send my apology to them. Because, I was afraid mom will scold me if she ever find out that bad behavior of me. So, I hold it. What sadden me the most was, they were siblings. 2 girls. The elder was 2 years older than me, and the youngest was 3 years younger than me. It leaves me heartache whenever I remember that 2 siblings were working in my household for living, and I did not treat them well.. Being a spoilt brat instead. 

If I ever had the chance to meet them again, I really wanted to hug and ask for the apology. To avoid myself from living in a sorrow, I should let this behavior away from me. To the people out there, I know I hurt you, thus, I seek for you apology. Sorry so much. There was a time that I can't handle my anger and can't conceal it, so I let it out. Sorry for my indecent behaviour. How can I love and hate people at the same time? Hate in a second, love comes. 


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