I was actually contemplating either I should update my blog or not, since I have so many things to do and need to update everything and present in front of my preceptor for the next day. After almost a week of contemplating the 'idea' of updating my blog in the middle of this hectic week, I then, switched on my MacBook and here I am. To be honest, never in my day I forget to check on my blog updates. How many visitors I got, which topics are the most popular among all my entries and etc etc.

The willingness to update my blog everyday, never missed in my thought, I kept that. But. I. Never. Did. That. I came to this topic because I realized how it worse by the day.

On my first day of clinical attachment, specifically on the first day, I had to clerk 7 cases, and I got two isolation rooms with patients who had viral pneumonia and tuberculosis. Had to be honest, you guys really don't know how much scared I was, I was a girl who really afraid of hospital beds and terrified with patients on beds. Really, I would cry a river if someone forced me to get near to the patients. Hence, among the 5 cases, which I excluded patients in isolation, I literally had some emotional attachment on one of them. It was Mr. A. The first time I saw him, he was on Ryle's tube as this patient experienced poor oral intake, he was obese and  rated his SGA was C. Can you see how the nutritional status of the patient was? He can't take and had slurred speech, but did not have CVA. Plus, on my first day of attachment, I faced a problem because of him. Had to say that. Because he had a diarrhea on that day, and I need to manage the case, however, I still had not clerk the case yet, because remember I tell you earlier, I was terrified. So, he was the severe one among all of them. I had trouble managing his case. The day passed. I prayed so that he will discharged ASAP so that I don't have to do the follow up. Need to run from one ward to ward just for him!. Being scolded and degraded because of him (I bet). So, I really hope he will discharge from the hospital on the second week of my attachment, because you know, I am going to take the case as my write- up, so need to follow up to the day his discharge.

Clearly, because he was severely ill, I had a big  trouble in understanding his words, oh yah, this patient got bed sore (grade 4) as he was bedridden for almost 3 months. So, all the diseases come and patient had so many underlying diseases. One day, physiotherapist came and do some rehabilitation and etc etc. He called me, but I don't understand his words, plus I actually afraid of getting close to the patients. Including him, so I was pretending to be busy, and many more. Plus, I heard from the nurses and doctors that they need to force the patient to sit on this rehabilation chair. So he did. Bet, he wanted me to bring him to his bed, because maybe he felt sick sitting on the chair. I ignored him. . Forgive me. Though, obviously I can't just transfer him from the rehab chair to the bed, and I was not on the wrong side, but, I wronged him on his emotion.

So, because I kept on doing the follow up, I was accidentally calling other patient Mr.A  too. Happens for so many times. So unprofessional I was. This kind of so called overly-attached matter should vanish or else it will trouble me in the future.

Have to be professional in my working place.

Your Future Dietitian.